What made me be so attached to my new boyfriend?

Did I have attachment issues because I had poor self-confidence, and big desires for a romantic relationship?

I quickly felt my new boyfriend liked me from the first moment we meet, so with him I felt I was a likeable person with worth. I sensed my husband didn’t like me anymore, so I believed it was because I was not likeable anymore and then I got afraid of being left. When I met this new man on a hot summery day, I got tempted with his charm and many promises of a better life.

To quickly I became attached to the other man because I felt I wasn’t likeable. I thought I was not worth being liked, but the other man quickly could tie his worth in me. I tied myself-image into how he would feel about me, so the fact that he liked me was a fluke, I felt an obsessive attachment to him liking me so that he didn’t leave me. At first, I wanted him as a best friend, then I became more attached to him and wanted him as a life partner who would love me to the grave. I became desperate to make sure he adored me so I became too attached and anxious; afraid I would lose him and my worth with him. I thought I could be better-off with him. Become more confident, work on myself and be happier with who I was if I was together with him. Maybe I was more attached to the idea of everlasting love more than the person I had attached to. Then I tried to rush things and forced myself to believe I was intensely in love with him. Might be I was chasing a ghost, an unachievable goal or had the feelings that it was not real. So how could I keep myself from getting too attached to this mysterious and charming man?

Then there were those things no one told me about of how a narcissists he really was. 

• That my love of my life would be my worst enemy from day one.
• I would be sleeping with my worse enemy.
• That he through the love bombing were secretly cheating and lying.
• That in the space of a year I would be shelved as he was already working on a new supply behind my back.
• Some of my best friends would become my worst enemies because he would lie about them... constantly.
• When I first meet him, I would say thank you God for giving me the partner I had prayed for. Later I would pray to go back to the day before I met him.
• Within the first year although the signs were evident, I would try to stay on to either save face or trying to make it work with my new boyfriend.
• When I finally separated after losing my self-esteem, my money, my friends, my years & my trust I would hear all I should have heard before starting the relationship with this charming and dangerous magnetic man.

Copyright © 2021 ^. All Rights Reserved ^. M. L. Stark

THE BOOK INTRODUCES THE PROGRESSION OF DOCTOR BATES'S SINISTER AGENDA

It will take you with its intent storyline in a haze of surprise. You know this was totally and unexpected thing for me because I was predicting some other spicy elements but the story come up with something different and trust me it was as good as book 1. 

Book review February 2021

By booksfortanmay

Burning Desire Fades: The Psychopath and the Girl in Black Prada Shoes
by M. L. Stark

My Rating - 4.8/5

My Review

To be honest when I saw this book and I decided to read it and trust me I am glad that I got to know about it. The book is called Burning Desire Fades by M. L. Stark.

The title is easy to remember, unique and gives that curiosity to read so I feel “Burning Desire Fades by M. L. Stark" is a nice fit for this piece. Cover on the other hand is a very attractive one and complements the title. Overall, the outer look of the book is really appealing and grabs viewer’s attention.

Burning Desire Fades by M. L. Stark is a decent read of 333 pages and I loved reading it last night. I won’t lie but I was super excited to read it after reading the first one out. The book is divided into 43 beautiful titles and which presented where the story is heading out.

Coming to the plot the book introduces the progression of Doctor Bates's sinister agenda which will take you with its intense storyline in a haze of surprise. You know this was totally an unexpected thing for me because I was predicting some other spicy elements but the story come up with something different and trust me it was as good as book 1.

You will be surprised to see how elaborately the author has delivered the story and this will completely take you to a ride of perfectly blended storyline.

There was no unnecessary stretching at all. It was all so perfect. I just loved it all. I loved the experience this book gave. This is my second read from the author and I highly recommend it to all the readers out there.

The book has some of the elements which make it different from other book from the same genre. First one is the way and the sequence it has been written. It is written in such a way that it gives reader curiosity to read more. The second one is the feel, the emotions Transfered while reading the book are just amazing. I loved every part of it.

Book Trailer: BURNING DESIRE FADES

A mother's memories of grief

I notice you are lying still on the table after a stormy night in despair.

I enter the most unrealistic door opening in front of me to the chapel. There is a smell of death. Silence. The room is peaceful. Darkness. Only the candles are burning. Everything is half dark, cold and gloomy.

I look at the white cloth over your beautiful face.

'May I look at him under the cloth?'

'No! Do not touch him,' the man said.

'Why not?'

'DNA! We need DNA.'

Has anything criminal happened? Goes through my head.

The man disappears. He closes the door in silence. 

• Finally, alone in the room.
• There’s a chair next to you.

With horror, I stare at the white cloth. I lift it. I must see if it’s you. I’m looking at your face.

I get the urge to kiss you on the forehead.

• Kiss you on your cheek.

• Hold your hand.

• Give you a hug.

Do not touch! The guy had told me.

• It has laid a distance between you and me.
• I’m crying.
• I gasp for breath.
• My heart stops for a moment.
• I miss you so much.
• I touch your chilly hand.
• Caresses your cold cheek

I give you a finger kiss on the forehead and lay back the cloth over your icy pale face. Then I cry while I sit with you for a quiet moment.

• Your sister sits waiting outside. 
• She can’t. 
• It broke her.
• You brother's don't understand. 
• So, I say farewell to you from your sister and brother's.

I wish you’re only at sleep like when you were a little boy, when I anxiously watched over your tiny fragile body. In desperate longing, I wait for you to wake up again. 

    Wake up! 

    It’s late! 

    Open your eyes!

    Don’t leave me in such a devastated mess.

    A mother with her deceased son.

    The days of grief never disappear.

A memorial is being planned. Nobody says anything.  

    The week goes by until I get the message. 

    He’s free!

    

Seven days after they freed you. Now we decorate your white coffin.

• Flowers.
• Red Roses.
• A letter.
• A teddy bear. 
• A cross. 
• We pray. 
• Crying. 
• Listening to the priest.

Your mom says a few words. We sing songs for you in church. Play a lovely tune for you. 

Enigma; Rivers of Believe. 

You love Enigma. 

Your lovely little girl is watching. Your baby is sleeping. Your sister is crying. Your brothers are in despair and I cry before we finally lay you to rest on God’s created green earth.

• You take the truth with you. 
• What happened?
• Good-bye, my love.

Yet I do not know what the truth is.

Nevertheless, you are forever gone. 

A mother's memories of devastating Grief

Copyright © 2021 ^. All Rights Reserved ^. M. L. Stark